Driving home last night, a heavily pregnant woman and her partner stepped out from the parked cars to cross a busy road. Her pregnant belly grabbed my attention (her bright white A-line dress did nothing to hide it). I went through my automatic mental response: I wonder how many weeks she is? Is she my patient?? No! Why isn’t she coming to me? Oh, that’s right, there are a lot of pregnant women in Melbourne. Then I felt a bit protective and irritated. I wanted to wind down the window and yell: ‘don’t you know your belly is waaayyyy in front of you….Don’t stick it into the traffic! Be careful!!’ Then I checked myself; don’t boss around all the pregnant women! (Well, those of you I do boss around – you just keep doing like I tell you….!)
Then I thought: pregnant women need reminders about their pregnant bellies and how to keep them out of trouble. So I am starting a list:

#1 Don’t stick your belly into traffic (* couple of years ago I noted another woman who did this – except SHE WAS my patient so I chastised her at the next visit. I also tried unsuccessfully, in traffic, to pull over to offer her a lift)

#2 Remember when you iron your clothes that the iron is at belly height, so unless you want a permanent horizontal burn mark, be careful! (*I think women don’t iron as much as they used to – I used to see a lot more of these)

#3 wear clothes when you iron (see #2, at least only your clothes will get scorched).

#4 when you think ‘oh great! I nabbed that tight little car parking space!’ that you may not actually be able to EXIT the car like you used to (*message to my patient from a couple of weeks ago who clambered over her back seat and out the rear door because she wasn’t willing to find another park)

More to come (as I think of them).

More suggestions are welcome….